I remember one day in college, while I was brushing my teeth, God gave me a special message. That day I was wearing my college sweatshirt from UCI (University of California at Irvine). And while I was brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed that my sweatshirt said ICU. And I felt that the Lord was saying that "I see you." And I felt comforted at that time and encouraged. And I felt, "God is so sweet." So recently, the same message of the ICU came back in a deeper way, and brought deeper comfort. Having your baby in the ICU is not where you would want your baby to be, but God reminds me that Alicia is in the ICU under the all-seeing embrace of the Father. He sees her. She is the apple of his eye. She is in HIS ICU and so are we. So I just trust Daddy to continue to lead us, knowing that he is watching our every move and that he guides us with his eye.
Thank you so much to everyone that has been pouring out your prayers and comfort. Thank you for your texts, messages, emails and comments. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, and your little treats and gifts. Campbell and I have been overwhelmed by how big of a cloud of witnesses we have. And we want you to know that your love has born much fruit. Our hearts are at peace and we take each day at a time, knowing each day is a gift. My days are pretty scheduled. I spend most of my day pumping milk for Alicia. If I'm not pumping, then I'm eating, resting, or going to see Alicia. My heart is focused and set on the Lord. I am sad and am aware of the mixed emotions. But at the same time, knowing how strong my daughter is and how much of a fighter she is, I will need to be stronger. And I have no reason to give the enemy any rights to my thoughts. We rest in God and trust for his daily deliverance.
Right now, since I'm on a strict no TV, no books and no Internet regiment, I can't immediately respond to all your messages. Right now, I'm dictating as Campbell is typing for me. (See Mom! I follow what you say.) For those who are unfamiliar with the Taiwanese method of post delivery care, there are certain strict guidelines new mothers need to follow for the first month postpartum. I.E. no washing your hair, no showering, only eating certain foods, no touching cold water, no cold air blowing on you, etc… The purpose of these restrictions is to help your body recover and revert to how it was prior to pregnancy. One of the guidelines that I'm trying to follow is to not strain my eyes too much. Hence the media fast. But please keep writing and sending messages, Campbell does pass them along and update me. The messages bring me much encouragement and joy.
As for Alicia, she's doing much better today. This morning when Campbell and I went to see her. She looked different to us. We couldn't quite place our finger on what the difference was, but we think she looked fuller or more defined or maybe just more mature. It amazed us how much she could change literally over night. Also, the nurses gave her a couple of blood transfusions last night, which have seemed to help. Her color is back and she isn't as pale as she was yesterday when we went to see her. She was sleeping pretty deeply this morning, so not quite as responsive or active as other visits, but we're glad that she's getting her rest. The nurse said she's stable… again FOR NOW, please continue to pray.
Some prayer requests:
1. The black stuff that Campbell wrote about in the previous post turns out to be some blood that was in her stomach/intestinal tract. Since it is black, the doctors think that it is probably old blood potentially from the trauma of birth. They have given her some medicine to stop any further bleeding, and will continue to follow up on this condition. Please pray that if there is still any internal bleeding, that it will stop, and that any of the old blood will be cleansed from her body.
2. Pray for her breathing. Some days she does well and doesn't need the ventilator as much. Other days, she relies on it more. Today, she was down to relying on the machine for 15 breaths a minute from 21. So that's good. Pray that her lungs will get stronger, and that she will learn how to breathe on her own. Extended dependency on the ventilator is not good and might cause permanent lung damage.
3. Pray for her to grow. Campbell wrote previously that she was gaining weight. But as we asked the nurses more about this, we realized that actually, she's still losing weight, which is completely normal. Most kids after birth, will lose water weight for about a week or two before they start to gain again. It's been about a week for Alicia. We're glad she's getting rid of stuff from her body that she doesn't need. But we pray that she can start to put on some more weight again. She'll need to gain a few hundred grams before she can be discharged from the ICU.
4. Campbell mentioned previously about her digestion. Yesterday, they helped Alicia to poop and clean out her intestinal tract, but she's still not pooping on her own, and as of this morning still hasn't pooped today. Pray that her digestion will kick in soon so that she can start taking my milk and gaining the nutrients she needs.
5. Pray for the doctors and nurses. We believe that she's getting some great care. Pray that they would have wisdom and special knowledge to expedite Alicia's growth and recovery. And pray they they would have a special affinity for Alicia and that they would care for her as if they were caring for their own daughter. We sense that Alicia already has an ability to attract and draw people to her. We pray that God would continue to develop this and use it for His glory.
6. Pray for her brain. Many premature babies end up with social and learning disorders and even brain damage. Pray that her brain would develop healthy and strong, and that she wouldn't have any problems in development as she grows. Also, right now she's still got the brain hemorrhaging (blood in the brain). Pray that the blood would be absorbed quickly and not get any worse.
7. Pray for her strength, and vigor and that her motor skills would also continue to do well.
8. Pray for her anemia to pass quickly, and that she would begin to take in enough oxygen for her body and that she would start to develop enough red blood cells to carry the oxygen to the rest of her body.
9. Pray for her mental and spiritual health. We pray each day for her that the Holy Spirit would surround her with peace and comfort. And that she wouldn't be scared or anxious in any way. We pray that she wouldn't have any trauma from this experience, and that she would grow up confident and secure in Campbell's and my love for her, but more important for our Heavenly Daddy's love and care for her.
Thanks, everyone, for all the big and small ways that you are helping us. We know that there is no way for us to know everything that everyone is all doing for us. But know that we appreciate it all. And for all that you do, we just ask the Lord to bless you abundantly!
Love,
Linda
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
One Week Old
Our little Alicia is one week old! Happy Birthday, Alicia. Daddy and Mommy wish you were with us, but we're glad that you're getting the best possible care possible for you right now.
Sometimes I forget how small Alicia is until I compare her to other babies and then I'm like, man, she's tiny! Right across the ICU from Alicia is a boy who must be a few months older than Alicia because he's chubby, chubby. Lots of fat! =) It's encouraging to see. But at the same time hard to imagine that Alicia will also look like that one day.
Since I last wrote, Alicia's condition is stable, but still not as ideal as hoped. Her breathing has been doing well, but this morning when we went back to see her, her breathing machine was back up to 21 breaths a minute. Also, she was a bit pale. I guess she had a harder night last night. Since she's still small, she's still a bit anemic, meaning that she doesn't have enough hemoglobin in her blood. Hemoglobin is what carries the oxygen in our blood cells. So that coupled with her still learning how to breathe on her own, it can cause her to not get enough oxygen into her body and to her organs, which makes her weak. I'm not anemic, but I think the closest thing I can liken it to is after areally intense workout where I haven't been breathing correctly, I'll start feeling really dizzy, and week and turn pale. Don't know if Alicia feels dizzy, but this morning when we went to see her she was a bit more listless than usual.
And that's what the nurse also told us. She said that the evening nurse said that Alicia wasn't as vigorous as she usually was, although she did respond a bit when they were working on her tubes and things. So she's still got her personality, but maybe just wasn't feeling as well yesterday.
Another thing to pray about is Alicia's digestion. She still hasn't pooped. (Yes, very technical term, I know.) And until she poops she can't eat. Pooping means she's digesting. No pooping means her digestive system hasn't started working yet. And until her digestion starts to work, she'll need to be fed nutrients through the IV. We want her to start being able to digest so she can start taking Linda's milk, which will get her the nutrients and antibodies Alicia needs to get stronger and stronger. Also, they found some black stuff inside of Alicia's digestive track, but they don't know what it is yet. They did a sonogram and things look normal, but they're going to do some followup on that. We pray that Alicia's digestive system and other systems will start to kick in soon.
We'll be going back to see Alicia in about an hour or so. One good sign is that in the first few days the doctors came and talked to us every day. The past few days we've mainly just been talking to the nurses. I take this as a sign that things are stable, and there isn't too much change. Which at this point is a good thing.
Also, I mentioned a few days ago that Alicia's belly IV has been taken out and she's been switched to an IV in her leg. A pediatrician we know from the states told us that this is a good sign. It means that things are stabilizing otherwise they wouldn't have done that.
Linda is doing well. We got discharged from the hospital yesterday and moved in with Linda's sister last night. The first night away from the hospital and this morning going back to the hospital was a strange one. For the past week, all we've known is our life in this hospital. We developed a routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, pump milk, go see baby. Come back, eat lunch, pump milk. Take a nap, eat dinner, pump milk.Go see baby, eat snack, pump milk. Go to bed, pump milk. Do it all over again. =) Now we moved home, and even though we didn't get to see Alicia all the time while we were in the hospital, being just that much farther away from her has been a bit heart wrenching.
We continue to take it one day at a time. That's all we can do right now. We've heard that there will be good days and bad days. Just because she's having a good day doesn't mean that she's going to continue to have a good day. On the flip side,just because she's having a bad day doesn't mean she will continue to have a bad day. We just walk through it as the Lord leads.
I believe that we already have the victory. God has already written the end of this story, and it is victory. We just need to walk through it to see how we get there. It's like reading a book or watching a movie. The ending is already set, we just go through and experience the journey along the way.
God gave me a picture this morning. I was sitting in Gloria's dining room and looking out the window and saw this view:
This is an opera house that has been in construction for a few years now. Each time we come to Taichung, we see more and more of it being completed. Right now it's an empty shell. We see the basic structure of what it might look like. But I have no idea what the complete building/complex will look like.
Sometimes I forget how small Alicia is until I compare her to other babies and then I'm like, man, she's tiny! Right across the ICU from Alicia is a boy who must be a few months older than Alicia because he's chubby, chubby. Lots of fat! =) It's encouraging to see. But at the same time hard to imagine that Alicia will also look like that one day.
Since I last wrote, Alicia's condition is stable, but still not as ideal as hoped. Her breathing has been doing well, but this morning when we went back to see her, her breathing machine was back up to 21 breaths a minute. Also, she was a bit pale. I guess she had a harder night last night. Since she's still small, she's still a bit anemic, meaning that she doesn't have enough hemoglobin in her blood. Hemoglobin is what carries the oxygen in our blood cells. So that coupled with her still learning how to breathe on her own, it can cause her to not get enough oxygen into her body and to her organs, which makes her weak. I'm not anemic, but I think the closest thing I can liken it to is after areally intense workout where I haven't been breathing correctly, I'll start feeling really dizzy, and week and turn pale. Don't know if Alicia feels dizzy, but this morning when we went to see her she was a bit more listless than usual.
And that's what the nurse also told us. She said that the evening nurse said that Alicia wasn't as vigorous as she usually was, although she did respond a bit when they were working on her tubes and things. So she's still got her personality, but maybe just wasn't feeling as well yesterday.
Another thing to pray about is Alicia's digestion. She still hasn't pooped. (Yes, very technical term, I know.) And until she poops she can't eat. Pooping means she's digesting. No pooping means her digestive system hasn't started working yet. And until her digestion starts to work, she'll need to be fed nutrients through the IV. We want her to start being able to digest so she can start taking Linda's milk, which will get her the nutrients and antibodies Alicia needs to get stronger and stronger. Also, they found some black stuff inside of Alicia's digestive track, but they don't know what it is yet. They did a sonogram and things look normal, but they're going to do some followup on that. We pray that Alicia's digestive system and other systems will start to kick in soon.
We'll be going back to see Alicia in about an hour or so. One good sign is that in the first few days the doctors came and talked to us every day. The past few days we've mainly just been talking to the nurses. I take this as a sign that things are stable, and there isn't too much change. Which at this point is a good thing.
Also, I mentioned a few days ago that Alicia's belly IV has been taken out and she's been switched to an IV in her leg. A pediatrician we know from the states told us that this is a good sign. It means that things are stabilizing otherwise they wouldn't have done that.
Linda is doing well. We got discharged from the hospital yesterday and moved in with Linda's sister last night. The first night away from the hospital and this morning going back to the hospital was a strange one. For the past week, all we've known is our life in this hospital. We developed a routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, pump milk, go see baby. Come back, eat lunch, pump milk. Take a nap, eat dinner, pump milk.Go see baby, eat snack, pump milk. Go to bed, pump milk. Do it all over again. =) Now we moved home, and even though we didn't get to see Alicia all the time while we were in the hospital, being just that much farther away from her has been a bit heart wrenching.
We continue to take it one day at a time. That's all we can do right now. We've heard that there will be good days and bad days. Just because she's having a good day doesn't mean that she's going to continue to have a good day. On the flip side,just because she's having a bad day doesn't mean she will continue to have a bad day. We just walk through it as the Lord leads.
I believe that we already have the victory. God has already written the end of this story, and it is victory. We just need to walk through it to see how we get there. It's like reading a book or watching a movie. The ending is already set, we just go through and experience the journey along the way.
God gave me a picture this morning. I was sitting in Gloria's dining room and looking out the window and saw this view:
This is an opera house that has been in construction for a few years now. Each time we come to Taichung, we see more and more of it being completed. Right now it's an empty shell. We see the basic structure of what it might look like. But I have no idea what the complete building/complex will look like.
I felt God saying that this was a bit like Alicia. We see the skeleton and basic structure of her body and what she'll look like. But we don't see the final picture yet. But God has the blueprint, and he's going to finish building her in his time. God brought a melody to Linda this morning and this afternoon. It's a song by Heavenly Melody (the singing group from my company). It talks about how God's ways are higher than man's ways. God's reasons are higher than our reasons. And in the song it talks about how God has a blueprint in his heart and mind. And we trust God's blueprint for our lives and for Alicia's life.
God is writing a beautiful story, and he's giving us a testimony for his glory. I'm excited to see how this story will end. I know, whatever the outcome, it will be an amazing journey and story.
Thank you, friends, for continuing to read and follow along with us as we walk on this road. Each of you are a huge blessing. And your prayers are life-giving.
Blessings,
Blessings,
Campbell
Friday, June 3, 2011
Endurance
After living with myself for 31 plus years, I've started to notice a pattern with my personality.
I always start well, and in high spirits, but I also start to burn out rather quickly. God's definitely had to teach me a lot about endurance. Many people have told us that having a preemie in the ICU is a marathon experience, and not a sprint, and I'm realizing that more and more as the days pass.
Yesterday was a harder day for me. For the first few days of this ordeal, my spirits were up. I was filled with faith and just continued to rejoice in the Lord's provision and care. Starting yesterday, while I still have faith that the Lord is God, and the great physician, and our Jehovah Jireh, provider. Some doubts started to creep in.
"So she seems to be doing OK. So she's going to live. Then what? What kind of life will she live? What if she develops permanent disabilities? Brain damage? etc..."
I know that this is nothing more than whispers from the devil trying to get me down, but I'll be honest. I'm getting tired. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I just want all of this to be over. I want my little girl in my arms, safe and healthy. I want to hold her and talk to her. But I can't.
Right now, I get one hour a day with her, and if there are other family members and guests, then even less.
I struggle, because I want to learn all that I can so I can know about my daughter's condition and know how to take care of her. But reading statistics can be depressing. 50% of babies who are born at 25 weeks or earlier, blah, blah, blah. 25% blah blah blah. 10% blah. 5% blah! UGH!
These statistics mean NOTHING in the light of God's grace, mercy and love. In fact, He is the God of the impossible. The worse the statistics, the higher the the chance of seeing a miracle. So do it, Lord. Perform the miracle!
Our little girl, (And when I say our, I don't just mean, Linda and mine. I mean, God's, Linda and mine, and all of you guys too! She's just as much your little girl as she is ours. We know many of you love her so much, and are praying so fervently for her. Thank you!!) continues to remain stable. Which is a huge praise. Right now, the best thing of course is improvement. But second best, is stability. I've got my phone on, but definitely NEVER EVER want to receive a call from the hospital about Alicia. That can only be bad news.
Yesterday, towards the end of our ICU visit, a father of one of the other babies bid farewell to the nurse saying, "Thank you, for taking care of my baby. I hope I won't get a call from you." The nurse responded, "Yes! I don't want to call you, either!" Funny exchange. But so true. As I've said before, "No news is good news."
Alicia's ventilator is back up a bit. Last night, it went from 13 back to 20, and this morning it was up to 21 breaths a minute. But that's OK. She's growing and learning how to breathe. Right now, she's still got a bit of Apnea, which means she forgets to breathe. Very common in preemies. Her belly button is healing nicely now, and last night she was able to even rest a bit on her stomach, which is good, then she can maintain a nice head shape. (haha. Seems so frivolous to worry about head shape in a situation like this, but it's important!)
Because she was on her stomach yesterday, we were able to touch more of her. Her backside isn't as covered with tubes and monitors, so we could touch more of her skin. That was a very special gift.
By the way, can I just tell you that our Heavenly Father just continues to astound me with the details of his provision. He doesn't just give us what is good. He gives us what is best. And he cares about the details. We got to chat a bit with Alicia's daytime nurse today, who by the way has warmed up quite a bit since our earlier visits. Alicia's daytime nurse is currently pregnant and today we asked her when she was due and she said mid-September. And she's also having a girl. You'll remember originally Alicia was due in early September, so this means that gestational age-wise, the baby growing inside the nurse is about the same age as Alicia. I mean, thank you DADDY! I mean, really. This isn't just a coincidence. I really believe that God orchestrated it. I mean why, of all the nurses in the ICU, was a pregnant woman with a child about the same age as Alicia assigned to care for her. And we really like this nurse. She's fun. She'll actually talk to Alicia and kind of banter with her.
Today, when I held Alicia's hand, I felt again that she had a pretty strong grip, so I asked the nurse if Alicia was considered strong. She was like, "Definitely! She's really strong! In fact, she's got quite the personality. Sometimes when I'm working on her, she'll swipe me with her hand or kick me. And I'll have to say, 'Come on, little girl. Don't be like that.'" Haha. We had to have another talk with our daughter about behaving for the nurse. Also, Alicia knows how to enjoy life. Sometimes when the nurse gives her the cotton swab "lollipop" Alicia will actually cross her legs as if she were just laying back and enjoying a good suck." Silly girl. So playful. I love it.
Linda and I have also been singing to Alicia whenever we go to see her. We thought we were just having a tender family moment, and didn't realize that we actually had an audience. After one of our songs, a couple of the nurses were like, "You guys should record it and put it on an MP3 player. Then we can play it for Alicia in her incubator." Another one of the nurses were like, "Yeah. We can put a speaker in the incubator and then we can put on outside and then we can all enjoy it! It sounds great." That was sweet. So I guess the next project will be to record some "lullabies" and messages for Alicia to hear.
Actually, if any of you want to record something, and you can somehow get it to me on an MP3 format, then I'll do my best to put it onto an ipod or something and we can play it for Alicia.
We keep going. Onward and upward.
Thank you all for all of your messages of love and encouragement. Thank you for sharing stories of your own preemies, and stories of your friends or relatives preemies that are all doing well now. They are a huge source of hope and encouragement for us.
Right now, my spirit is hopeful, and at peace, but at the same time wary. I know there are going to be a hundred things that I need to think about, prepare, watch out for, think about and know about so that we can provide the best care for Alicia. But I have no idea, no idea what it will all entail, what information to look for, or even where to even start to look for information. But God has paved the way thus far, and I know he's not going to stop. So we just continue to live in the grace that is not only a part of Alicia's name, but a huge part of her life too.
In the meantime, PLEASE, PLEASE keep praying. Thanks, dear ones.
Love,
Campbell
I always start well, and in high spirits, but I also start to burn out rather quickly. God's definitely had to teach me a lot about endurance. Many people have told us that having a preemie in the ICU is a marathon experience, and not a sprint, and I'm realizing that more and more as the days pass.
Yesterday was a harder day for me. For the first few days of this ordeal, my spirits were up. I was filled with faith and just continued to rejoice in the Lord's provision and care. Starting yesterday, while I still have faith that the Lord is God, and the great physician, and our Jehovah Jireh, provider. Some doubts started to creep in.
"So she seems to be doing OK. So she's going to live. Then what? What kind of life will she live? What if she develops permanent disabilities? Brain damage? etc..."
I know that this is nothing more than whispers from the devil trying to get me down, but I'll be honest. I'm getting tired. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I just want all of this to be over. I want my little girl in my arms, safe and healthy. I want to hold her and talk to her. But I can't.
Right now, I get one hour a day with her, and if there are other family members and guests, then even less.
I struggle, because I want to learn all that I can so I can know about my daughter's condition and know how to take care of her. But reading statistics can be depressing. 50% of babies who are born at 25 weeks or earlier, blah, blah, blah. 25% blah blah blah. 10% blah. 5% blah! UGH!
These statistics mean NOTHING in the light of God's grace, mercy and love. In fact, He is the God of the impossible. The worse the statistics, the higher the the chance of seeing a miracle. So do it, Lord. Perform the miracle!
Our little girl, (And when I say our, I don't just mean, Linda and mine. I mean, God's, Linda and mine, and all of you guys too! She's just as much your little girl as she is ours. We know many of you love her so much, and are praying so fervently for her. Thank you!!) continues to remain stable. Which is a huge praise. Right now, the best thing of course is improvement. But second best, is stability. I've got my phone on, but definitely NEVER EVER want to receive a call from the hospital about Alicia. That can only be bad news.
Yesterday, towards the end of our ICU visit, a father of one of the other babies bid farewell to the nurse saying, "Thank you, for taking care of my baby. I hope I won't get a call from you." The nurse responded, "Yes! I don't want to call you, either!" Funny exchange. But so true. As I've said before, "No news is good news."
Alicia's ventilator is back up a bit. Last night, it went from 13 back to 20, and this morning it was up to 21 breaths a minute. But that's OK. She's growing and learning how to breathe. Right now, she's still got a bit of Apnea, which means she forgets to breathe. Very common in preemies. Her belly button is healing nicely now, and last night she was able to even rest a bit on her stomach, which is good, then she can maintain a nice head shape. (haha. Seems so frivolous to worry about head shape in a situation like this, but it's important!)
Because she was on her stomach yesterday, we were able to touch more of her. Her backside isn't as covered with tubes and monitors, so we could touch more of her skin. That was a very special gift.
By the way, can I just tell you that our Heavenly Father just continues to astound me with the details of his provision. He doesn't just give us what is good. He gives us what is best. And he cares about the details. We got to chat a bit with Alicia's daytime nurse today, who by the way has warmed up quite a bit since our earlier visits. Alicia's daytime nurse is currently pregnant and today we asked her when she was due and she said mid-September. And she's also having a girl. You'll remember originally Alicia was due in early September, so this means that gestational age-wise, the baby growing inside the nurse is about the same age as Alicia. I mean, thank you DADDY! I mean, really. This isn't just a coincidence. I really believe that God orchestrated it. I mean why, of all the nurses in the ICU, was a pregnant woman with a child about the same age as Alicia assigned to care for her. And we really like this nurse. She's fun. She'll actually talk to Alicia and kind of banter with her.
Today, when I held Alicia's hand, I felt again that she had a pretty strong grip, so I asked the nurse if Alicia was considered strong. She was like, "Definitely! She's really strong! In fact, she's got quite the personality. Sometimes when I'm working on her, she'll swipe me with her hand or kick me. And I'll have to say, 'Come on, little girl. Don't be like that.'" Haha. We had to have another talk with our daughter about behaving for the nurse. Also, Alicia knows how to enjoy life. Sometimes when the nurse gives her the cotton swab "lollipop" Alicia will actually cross her legs as if she were just laying back and enjoying a good suck." Silly girl. So playful. I love it.
Linda and I have also been singing to Alicia whenever we go to see her. We thought we were just having a tender family moment, and didn't realize that we actually had an audience. After one of our songs, a couple of the nurses were like, "You guys should record it and put it on an MP3 player. Then we can play it for Alicia in her incubator." Another one of the nurses were like, "Yeah. We can put a speaker in the incubator and then we can put on outside and then we can all enjoy it! It sounds great." That was sweet. So I guess the next project will be to record some "lullabies" and messages for Alicia to hear.
Actually, if any of you want to record something, and you can somehow get it to me on an MP3 format, then I'll do my best to put it onto an ipod or something and we can play it for Alicia.
We keep going. Onward and upward.
Thank you all for all of your messages of love and encouragement. Thank you for sharing stories of your own preemies, and stories of your friends or relatives preemies that are all doing well now. They are a huge source of hope and encouragement for us.
Right now, my spirit is hopeful, and at peace, but at the same time wary. I know there are going to be a hundred things that I need to think about, prepare, watch out for, think about and know about so that we can provide the best care for Alicia. But I have no idea, no idea what it will all entail, what information to look for, or even where to even start to look for information. But God has paved the way thus far, and I know he's not going to stop. So we just continue to live in the grace that is not only a part of Alicia's name, but a huge part of her life too.
In the meantime, PLEASE, PLEASE keep praying. Thanks, dear ones.
Love,
Campbell
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Anniversary
June 2. Linda and my fourth anniversary. I had completely forgotten until our friend, Beth, posted on our Facebook and wished us a happy anniversary.
It's truly been the best four years of my life, and there's no one I'd rather be going through all of this with, then my beloved bride. She is definitely a woman of immense faith and strength. Her relationship and faith in our Lord has been evident through every morning of this experience.
After realizing it was our anniversary, I ran downstairs to the lobby flower shop and purchased a bouquet. Who knew that the flower shop lady would be a devoted fan of Let's Talk in English. =) She was so excited to meet me that she even gave us two cups of juice for free as a "song gei wo". ("Gift to me" for those of you who don't know Andrea and don't understand Chinese.)
Our little girl continues to do well! We are so very proud of her. Her condition seems to be pretty stable and hasn't gotten worse in the past few days, so that's a huge praise. Certain things still remain the same, i.e. the bleeding in the brain and the hole in the arteries, but other things, like her breathing, continue to improve - her breathing machine now only helps her for 13 breaths a minute! Go, baby, go!
I asked the doctor today about the hole. Our friend, had left a comment on this blog that one of her friends also had kids with the same problem, and they also didn't respond well to the medicine. However, their holes closed up on their own as the got older. So I asked the doctor if this could indeed happen, and she confirmed that it is a possibility. So we say to that hole, you close up, in Jesus name!
Both Linda and I feel like the doctor was in better spirits today. Not so gloom and doom as she had been in the past. So we take that as a positive sign that Alicia is getting better. Of course, only time will tell. We just walk through day by day, step by step.
Her weight continues to go up, she's now up to 562 grams. Yeah, baby! We pray for more and more. That that weight will pack on.
We also had to do a bit of disciplining today. Alicia's hands weren't tied down today, so she started playing with one of the tubes that were connected to her. So we told her to leave it alone. That she shouldn't play with it. That tube was there to help her. Silly, girl. =)
Doctor also said that Alicia continues to have good vitality. She moves around a lot. So that's great.
Oh, I just thought of something that the Lord spoke to me this morning.
God reminded me this morning that our little Alicia has actually been raised from the dead. You'll remember she had no heartbeat or breath for 7 minutes after birth. But they were able to revive her. And that made me think of the story of Lazarus. Lazarus was one of Jesus' close friends. When Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, he said, " “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”
We believe that this is also true for Alicia. Her time in the ICU will not end in death. And all of this has happened for God's glory, so that God's son may be glorified through it. So we say, "Yes, Daddy God. Yes, Heavenly Father! Glorify yourself through us and in us. May this story make your glory shine into the far reaches of the world. May hearts that were once hardened to you, be melted and opened by the story of the miracle of Alicia's life."
Amen!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Ultimate 3-D
I was just thinking the other day how originally we had an appointment to see the doctor this Friday for a 3-D ultrasound so we could catch a glimpse of our precious daughter in utero. But I guess Daddy God and our daughter had other plans.
Now, each day, twice a day we get the ultimate 3-D experience, where we not only get to see our precious daughter, but touch her and speak to her. And we get to see the miracle of life take place before our eyes. No more do we have to wait for our monthly obstetrician visits to catch blurry black and white images of our daughter. We can now see her, feel her and be with her in living color and flesh.
I think one of the highlights of my day has to be when I get to reach into my princess' chambers and hold her hand. I just feel so connected to my little girl in those moments. Truly, truly priceless.
Today I picked up our daughter's birth certificate in English and Chinese. So I guess she's now officially ours. =)
In other news, baby continues to breathe better and better. This evening when we went to see her, her respirator was down to 15 breaths a minute. She's doing so well! She had some new "accessories" that we weren't too fond of. But we believe that they are what will help her to get better and better faster and faster.
She also got her first "haircut" today because they needed to insert a tube into her head so that they could perform tests in the future. The nurses were nice enough to save us some tufts of her hair, so we were able to take a little bit of our daughter back to the room with us.
So thankful, so thankful. God is with us. We know.
The Latest
Our little Alicia continues to be a fighter. I just fall more and more in love with my little daughter every day. I need to be careful, or in the future, she may end up being spoiled rotten. =)
Today, when we went to see her, she seemed to be resting. When we opened the hole in her little incubator and I spoke to her, she started to stir. I think she recognized my voice. Does a Father's heart good. Then when I reached in and touched her little hand, she reached up and grabbed my finger and held on pretty tightly. Well, as tightly as she could for her size. My heart just melted.
Today, when we went to see her, she seemed to be resting. When we opened the hole in her little incubator and I spoke to her, she started to stir. I think she recognized my voice. Does a Father's heart good. Then when I reached in and touched her little hand, she reached up and grabbed my finger and held on pretty tightly. Well, as tightly as she could for her size. My heart just melted.
Physically, not much has changed since yesterday for Alicia. In a way that is a good thing. She hasn't gotten worse. She still has the bleeding in her brain and as of their sonogram yesterday she still has the heart problem. But things haven't gotten worse, which is a huge praise.
She is also now past the most critical 72-hour stage. But for us to really breathe easy, and for things to really stabilize we need to see how Alicia fares over the next couple of weeks. We have faith that she will steadily progress and get better and better.
A bit of clarification on a couple of things in previous posts.
First, the infection. We're still not 100% sure whether or not the infection that Linda had in her system was what actually caused the contractions to begin. In fact, we don't even know what kind of infection it was. They did a culture and the results will be back sometime this weekend. Then we'll have more information. But speaking of infection, Alicia's white-blood cell counts are a bit high, so they suspect that she too right now may have an infection, so they're giving her some antibiotics to fight that. We hope that coupled with the antibodies from Linda's milk will help her to get healthy!
Second, the "hole in the heart." I think I explained previously that everything is being spoken in Chinese, and so I thought that that might have been the problem with me not getting everything. Until I realized that even when the doctors switched over to using some English terms, I still had no idea what she was talking about. Haha. I did do my best to remember the Chinese words for where Alicia was having a problem. And I looked it up, translated it and found this article on Wikipedia that explains what her problem is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ductus_arteriosus After "reading" this article, I realized for certain that it wasn't simply that I didn't understand the Chinese. I just didn't understand, period. Anyway, so apparently she doesn't have a hole in her heart. (The doctors [Linda's doctor that delivered the baby and Alicia's doctor that's watching over her] had a good chuckle about my diagnosis.) From what I can gather, each of us have two major arteries, one carries deoxygenated blood to the lungs, the other carries oxygenated blood from the lungs to the rest of the body. As fetus' all of our lungs are filled with fluid, so God has created a hole between these two arteries that will allow the blood to bypass the lungs and continue to circulate. Under normal circumstances this hole begins to close up once the baby takes its first breath. Which is important, because we want the blood to pass through the lungs in order to pick up the oxygen. So right now the problem is Alicia's hole hasn't closed. So right now her blood continues to circulate, but it's bypassing the lungs, and therefore not carrying oxygenated blood to the rest of the body. So right now the doctors are trying to use medicine to close up this hole. So it's not a hole in her heart, but a hole between the vessels. HAHA... did you get all that? Yeah, me either.
We asked the doctor how Alicia was doing today, she said that she's having a good day today. She's rather active and moves around a lot. But, she was also careful to remind us that just because today was a good day does not mean that tomorrow will be even better. Her condition is still very unstable, so she will have good days and bad days. Good news is that she's past the 72 hour phase. So her risk has dropped. But the risk hasn't been eliminated.
We also learned that in a few days they're going to remove the tube that they've got plugged into where Alicia's umbilical chord used to be and switch her over to an IV type thing in her arm. They need to do this because after birth the umbilical chord hole (I'm sure there's a more technical term for this.) starts to harden and also it's also prone to infection, so it's better to switch over. However, because her body is so fragile, any kind of insertion of anything into her body is risky. So pray that she won't have any negative side effects from all of this.
Another encouraging bit of news is that Alicia has gained some weight! I forget how much. But she's now about 500 something grams. For those astute readers out there, you might think... uh, but you said she was born at 654 grams. Yes. But as some of you know, most children lose a bit of water weight in their first few days of life, and then they gain it back over time. So yes, she was born at 654 grams, but she shrunk down, and now she's back up a little. Praise God!
One encouraging bit of information is that my sister-in-law, Gloria, asked about the smallest baby they've had at this particular ICU. And the doctor told us the smallest they've had was a child that was born at 422 grams. And when Gloria asked how that child was doing now, the doctor said, he/she is doing great. In fact, they just came in for a check up the other day, and that child is now about a year old! =) Praise the Lord.
As for Alicia, she'll probably need to stay in the incubator for at least three months, maybe even as long as six months depending on her progress. But we just pray.
As for Linda and I, we are really in good spirits. Logically speaking, this is a stressful situation. One that should be riddled with anxiety and concern. However, Linda and I just continue to marvel at the peace and security we feel. And I can only attest that to all of the prayers and love that you are sending to us. We really are not anxious or worried at all. Yes, we miss our little girl, and yes, we wish we had her here with us to have and to hold. But we know that Daddy God is with her and watching over her and taking care of her while we can't. Our spirits are at rest. So thank you, thank you for your prayers and keep them coming! Like I said previously, your prayers are our lifeline right now.
Love,
Campbell
Campbell
She's Coming Out!
When we first heard the news that Alicia most likely would be coming out early, both Linda and I felt God give us a song. We were listening to the song together just now, and laughing at how appropriate it was. So here it is, Alicia's theme song:
Friends, Alicia has come out! And now the world knows!
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